ANONreader(s)

Thursday, August 25

MUST READ JOKE LMFAO! HAHAHA!

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."
The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."
The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "
The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"

Friday, June 3

Prince William Divorces Kate Middleton?


I heard a shocking rumor today, it was told that Prince William Divorces Kate Middleton after 5 weeks marriage. i don't know about the truth of this rumor. the source of this news was circulated from The Onion


Thursday, May 19

Pencil vs Camera

Just wanna share some funny pictures that I grabbed from my tumblr. :D









Wednesday, May 11

Final Destination AGAIN!


OFFICIAL POSTER | Final Destination 5
SYNOPSIS:
Twelve years after the explosion of the flight 180, Sam Lawton (Nicholas D’Agosto) has a premonition about the bridge he is on collapsing. As the vision becomes reality, Sam manages to save himself and a few others. Though, Sam and his girlfriend Molly (Emma Bell), discover that Death is still after them and the ones who survived the gruesome accident.
RELEASE DATE(S):
Canada 12 August 2011
USA 12 August 2011
Malaysia 25 August 2011
UK 26 August 2011
France 31 August 2011
Netherlands 1 September 2011
Italy 16 September 2011
Australia 13 October 2011



Here is the trailer of Final Destination 5

Tuesday, May 10

calculate your body FAT percentage!

I checked my body fat percentage just now, and I'm veeery very satisfied with the result! yeay! here's what the result says. :D

Body Fat Estimation:
Results:
Using your measurements of a 25 inches waist and weight of 91 pounds your body fat percentage is estimated to be 20.23 % using the U.S. Navy body fat formula, or 26.02 % using the formula developed by the YMCA.
Neither method is as accurate as a water displacement test, but is usually within 1-3% for most people. If you have a very small waist, it will show a low value. On the other hand, if you carry all your extra weight around your middle, you may have an elevated percentage. Please note that having this extra weight in the middle is a high risk factor for heart disease and stroke. The waist to hip ratio calculator can give you more information.
The average body fat percentage for U.S. females is around 32%, with the ideal at 22%. Athletic females should be around 15-20%. You could have an eating disorder if you are below 10%. Remember these are guidelines; your physician should help you determine the ideal weight and body fat for you.


you can check yours too at this website CLICK HERE. and here the categories of body fat ranges.

 HAPPY CALCULATING FAT :P

Sunday, May 8

Happy Day, Happy Mother's day ummi :)

Ummi is pretty. Ummi is going to be housewives. Ummi is also good to the children. Ummi like the queen of good hearts. Ummi great. could treat her own children and can treat herself. Ummi is a winner because she can treat her own children and take care of herself and have great difficulty working.
UMMI,




  






.

Tuesday, April 19

-..-

I don't need your money, I just want your blessing. And I'm sorry if I'm not going to follow what you want. Forgive me, dad.


Jason Chen or Sam Tsui


Grenade covered by Jason Chen (miniachilles). adore his sweet smooth loud voice. interested to watch more his music videos, click here to go to his music channel.



Sam Tsui or his username on YouTube channel, KurtHugoSchneider. subscribed his video since last year :3 fell in love with his voice since I saw his Don't Stop Believing cover video.

must subscribe their channel! no regrets :D


Monday, April 18

TANGGAL LAPAN BELAS APRIL :D


today is the day! yeay for Mr Jambu and I for our first anniversary. syukur Alhamdulillah, even though kami tak dapat celebrate sama, we still happy and InsyaAllah we will celebrate it on April 30, my family pergi Kuching hari tu coz nak shopping barang untuk kakak kawen. yeyeay :D


not much to say about this entry, just wanna say today, APRIL 18 2011 is our very first Anniversary Day. I love Mr Jambu so much. there's no special words to show how deep my love towards him that I'm going to post here. we know each others feeling and thats more important for me :) Thank You for everything Mr Jambu 



Sunday, April 17

big appetite

Its 10 in the morning and I'm craving for a pizza and an ice cream right after I saw some food photos in my tumblr dashboard. and I guess I able to finish a box of pizza and three cups of ice cream now. big appetite eh! but I still as skinny as a flagpole. sigh saya mau makan sekarang. lapar sangat sangat. the gambar-gambar makanan itu make my stomach growling crazily.







I really want all of it. need to grab some food before my stomach menggila nakkan makanan yang lain plak. :3

Saturday, April 16

did I ate a fake egg just now?

this morning, my kakak and I tunggu taukeh gas datang tukar tong gas nak goreng bihun. while my kakak was beating the eggs, she asked me about the fake eggs. then I said "apa ya? wujud kah?" she balas, "antap ko sik tengok berita," hehehe. tengok Amir lagu cinta gila jap I was shock kejap pas dengar my kakak bagitahu pasal telur tiruan tu. lambat ah aku. then tonight, terlintas laa nak buat research about the fake egg.

comparison between the genuine egg and the fake egg

actually these fake chicken egg was being produced and sold in China. So if you're in China, be very careful buying eggs, don't buy the fake ones! telur tiruan ni penuh ngan bahan kimia, the main ingredient calcium alginate, at most is a gel. Alum, gelatin etc are only as additives, auxiliary agents. There are national standards on the use of additives; the amount of them is clearly defined. In the artificial eggs they have become the major components; they are not beneficial to the human body. Artificial egg has little or no nutrition value compare with the genuine one.

How to identify fake eggs:

1.    After opening the egg, egg white and egg yolk will soon mix together.
2.    Fake egg’s shell is a little shinier than the real egg, but it is not very noticeable.
3.    When touch the fake egg by hand, it feels a little rougher than the real egg.
4.    Shake the fake egg will make some noises, because water overflows from the solid agent.
5.    Real egg smells a little like raw meat.
6.    Tap the egg lightly. Real egg makes a more crisp sound than the fake egg.
7.    Shortly after opening the fake egg, egg yolk and egg white will melt together. This is because the egg yolk and egg white are made of the same raw materials.
8.    When frying a fake egg, the yolk will spread without being touched.





some photos that I googled just now

also I share a video of Investigation of fake eggs in China.






but don't worry Malaysian, kerana Datuk Dr Abd Aziz telah berkata bahawa situasi ini adalah terkawal dan berada dalam pengawasan pihak berkuasa. Amin :)

Friday, April 1

HOMAIGAD

It was an uberextremelyworstdayever! FULL STOP.

fooled by April Fool

April mai lagi! and for certain people, masuk jer bulan April they don't think other than APRIL FOOL (in Arabic, Kithbat Neesaan or “The Lies of April”),  especially among the youngsters who celebrate the day with variety of odd surprise or something unexpected but it's all are lies. hari April fool, hari nak pedajal semua orang and it's not a national holiday -..- korang tahu tak al-kisah sebenar di sebalik hari 'April Fool' ni? If you care and love Islam, korang kena baca ni ok! :) 


Perayaan April Fool yang selalu diakhiri dengan kegembiraan dan kepuasan itu sesungguhnya berasal dari satu tragedi besar yang sangat menyedihkan dan memilukan. The April’s Fool Day berasal dari satu episod sejarah Muslim Sepanyol pada tahun 1487 atau bersamaan dengan 892 H.


Adalah dipercayai sambutan 'April Fool’ mula dirayakan ketika kejatuhan Kerajaan Islam di Sepanyol. Setelah bertapak berkurun-kurun lamanya di Granada, Sepanyol, kerajaan Islam akhirnya runtuh diserang tentera Kristian. Penduduk Islam di Moors, Sepanyol terpaksa berlindung di dalam rumah untuk menyelamatkan diri. Tentera Kristian bagaimanapun tidak berpuas hati dan berusaha untuk menghapuskan penganut Islam dari bumi Sepanyol, justeru, mereka membuat helah. Mereka memaklumkan penduduk Muslim boleh berlayar keluar dari bumi Sepanyol dengan selamat bersama-sama barangan mereka dengan menggunakan kapal di pelabuhan. Orang Muslimin risau akan sekiranya tawaran itu suatu penipuan pergi ke pelabuhan untuk melihat kapal yang dimaksudkan.

Setelah berpuas hati, mereka membuat persiapan untuk bertolak. Keesokannya (1 April), mereka mengambil semua barangan yang telah dikemaskan lalu menuju ke pelabuhan. Pada masa itulah pihak Kristian mengambil kesempatan menggeledah dan membakar rumah penduduk Islam. Penganut Islam juga tidak sempat menaiki kapal kerana semuanya musnah dibakar. Pihak Kristian kemudian menyerang kaum Muslimin dan membunuh kesemuanya, tidak kira lelaki, perempuan, serta anak kecil. Peristiwa berdarah yang meyedihkan itu kemudiannya diraikan tentera Kristian.

Keraian ini akhirnya dirayakan setiap tahun bukan saja di Sepanyol tetapi juga di seluruh dunia sebagai 'April Fool’s Day’. Apa yang pasti setiap kali menjelang 1 April, sesetengah orang Islam begitu taksub dengan budaya 'pandang ke Barat’ menjadi begitu sibuk sekali dengan kepala mereka penuh dengan senarai mangsa untuk dipermain-mainkan. Kepala mereka juga ligat merangka bentuk ‘penganiayaan’ yang bakal dilakukan demi memastikan mereka puas melihat muka mangsa gurauan 'April Fool’ mereka merah padam kerana dipermain-mainkan.

Bagaimanapun, kadang kala lawak 'April Fool’ yang dilakukan boleh mencetuskan pergaduhan dan penyesalan yang berpanjangan. Sebagai contoh kisah benar yang telah berlaku apabila seorang suami yang jahil mengenai agama, telah mengucapkan, “Aku ceraikan kau dengan talak tiga,” kepada isterinya dengan niat untuk melawak. Isterinya yang pada mulanya terpinga-pinga terus meraung apabila suami dengan muka selamba kemudiannya mengucapkan 'April Fool’. Selepas itu, giliran suami pula meraung apabila diberitahu talak yang dilafazkan secara bergurau itu sebenarnya sudah pun jatuh dan dikira sah.

Apa yang menyedihkan ialah umat Islam di negara ini mudah mengingati sambutan pelik masyarakat bukan Islam terutama Barat tetapi lupa mengenai hari kebesaran hari di dalam Islam. Sampaikan hari nak menyambut Maulidur Rasul pon ada orang mempertikaikan. 

Some of Muslims in this country may not know the real story about the 'April Fool' and that's why they are still celebrate it..  Tak rugi kalau kita sama2 sebarkan kepada semua umat Islam bahawa kita ni sebenarnya diperbodohkan dengan sambutan yang diraikan oleh orang barat. walhal sebenarnya 'April Fool' ni adalah hari meraikan pembunuhan saudara Islam kita dan jika masih sambut "April Fool' ni samalah seperti kita mempersendakan Islam dan diri kita sendiri.

this statement, I grab it from mykhilafah.com. last and not least, stop celebrating Valentine Day & April Fool self-reminder


Thursday, March 31

a free first class ticket to hell

I'm pissed. really pissed off as you can see from the title of this entry. well, anyone definitely would be angry if someone makes fun of other religionslately, issues of condemning other religions are becoming more commonand now, this issue is getting "panas" when sorang lagi minah yang bernama Jasmine telah mengutuk Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. she surely said that heaven will always be her place soon, but unconsciously dia memang dah tempah awal-awal free ticket first class to hell la. I can't explain how was she cursed and laughed at and arh! I think she just wants attention and mad. here are some of her posts that I print screened just now.

this is from her first facebook account. click on the picture to zoom in


and this from her second facebook account. click on the picture to zoom in


  
click on the picture to directly go to her facebook profile

okay. I stop here. this madness driving me crazy *-*

p/s I'll take my words back as if she buat taubat nasuha :)